Firstly can I just say Thank you for stopping by and not giving up on me. The past few months have not been very easy and I have been feeling many feelings that have really made me look at my life, the people in it, both friends and family. Sometimes we think people are our friends and we find out along the way thay unless you do things exactly how THEY think they should be done...then your not their friend, or the fact that friends should be able to share the good and bad and when you are there for a friend when they are down or when they are happy but when you need them they don't bother calling or just don't care, it makes you look further into that friendship really is, or when you do chat with them..they make you feel very uneasy by their words. Well I for one am tired of feeling this way! I am tired of being the one that always lends my ear and taken some abuse because other people have hurt them...and I just take it, well that day is over, if I am not a good enough friend for you to pick up the phone and give me a ring then lets just say I am not good enough to be a friend at all! You know who you are. I am taking 2010 to get the me back I was in 2000, the independant, happy, caring, loving person I have always been..the one that gives and doesn't expect back...but also one that had good friends that didn't feel the need to abuse me or my feelings. I have met many good people since moving here and have made some very close friendships, and I cherish those that are true friends. I've met some wonderful people online through my crafting also whom I consider my friends, and hope we can always be good friends, its such a nice bond we all seem to share.
As for my family, this past year has really been an eye opener and there's been alot of heartache, hurt, anger, greed felt. I am just getting back to grips with all of this and trying to see the other sides of these family members. Also I am slowly coping with the death of my Auntie whom I so dearly miss and just wish I could hear her words "I love you very very much" once again. I miss her so so much.
I am also coming to grips with the fact all my sons are now in the states living, and our relationships as adults is so awesome! But there are times I feel so far away and alone from them.
Also recently I have found out how a total stranger can really mess with your head, make you feel hurt and anger, just by their words, to the point of making you question your own self worth.
Sorry for such a long long entry, for my friends who have wondered where I have been...this is where...just working on myself, dealing with life, and trying to find the person I know I am.
I have some very close friends that I want to thank that have been helping me along the way with their kindness and kind words and helping to show me that I do have friends and friends that care, and that I am worth more than just being a sounding post and rug to be walked upon. Thank you and I think you know who you all are, you are the best! And can I just say.....please be patient with me a bit longer?? xx
